Well, the Advent calendar* is up.
This should probably mean that Christmas spirit is everywhere in my home. This morning so far, it just means that there was a fight over who got to pull out the Day 1 box. It’s the same as first drink at bedtime – odd days Levi, even days Elias – but of course it’s not that simple, because Elias has to wait a whole day to pull out the Day 2 box and that is not fair. (Delayed gratification being a higher-level concept.) This threepenny opera was conducted at my bedside at o’dark thirty. I can just barely be convinced to care about fair when I am fully awake and well-rested and the dishes are done and I maybe have just recently had some excellent chocolate. Right then, I cared mostly about quiet.
I am really not feeling the Christmas thing yet.
This will not be a surprise to anyone who has been following along at home. It’s a struggle for me every year. I liked Christmas a lot more when I was not the one making it all happen.
I will crawl out of Grinch mode. I always do. Sometimes it happens when the tree is finally up and the lights are on in the dark living room and everyone else has gone to bed. Sometimes it happens when the right song pops up on shuffle at the right moment. It could be just about anything, but O Come O Come Emmanuel is a good bet. One year it was on Christmas Eve at the candlelight service. (That was a rough December.)
It’ll happen. Until then, I will be straight-up faking it. I know I’m not the only one. I think we need a secret handshake or something so we can identify one another in crowds.
Merry Christmas!!!!! (Look at all the exclamation points. See what a good faker I am?!?)
* In our house, this doesn’t mean candy. (Heaven knows they get enough of that.) We do an experience every day (the end of this post has last year’s list).