Monthly Archives: February 2015

On Not Hollering

 

 

 

One of the things I had to do today was check some work. It took me a long time, because there were a lot of problems. With one exception, they were problems that I’ve been talking about for months. Problems for which I’ve provided an extensive and specific checklist so everyone on the team understands what needs to happen. Let me tell you, by the time I got about halfway in, I was steaming.

“Is anyone even USING the stuff I send?” I snarled. (Working from home provides opportunities for venting frustrations aloud that are not always available – or prudent – in a cubicle environment. I’m not sure it’s good for me.)

As I worked on through, I kept an e-mail draft open and added more and more feedback. I flirted with sarcasm in my prose, but I know better. I do. I kept it neutral, if extensive. (And I kept all the thoughts about just how extensive it was to myself. USE THE CHECKLIST, PEOPLE. I DIDN’T WRITE IT FOR FUN OKAY?!?)

I re-read it to make sure I was being nice, or at least polite, and then I sent it off.

Ten minutes later, a reply swished into my inbox. A very confused reply. None of the feedback matched the actual work. Because I’d clicked through into the wrong directory on the server, and I was checking work from a year ago.

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So. Those folks may think I’m an idiot. (I sure feel like one.) But they probably don’t think I’m a frothing, snarling, nasty idiot. I guess that’s something.

And I’m writing this down as a reminder to myself:

Chill out, sister. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Somebody might indeed be screwing up royally. Chances are about 50/50 that it’s you.

I’m going to slink off and fold a little laundry now. Probably I can do that without mangling it too much. But there are clearly no guarantees.

Sickie Boy (Or not.)

He was desperately ill, he said. He was SURE he was running a temperature. (Can you read it in the picture? If he’d consent to wear a shirt, he might even get up to the regulation 98.6.)

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He was pretty certain that lying on the couch and playing with his tablet for a very long time would make him feel better. Oh, and eating candy would absolutely help.

“Really?” I said, “So if I would just let you do anything that you wanted and catered to your every whim, you wouldn’t feel so bad?”

“YES!” he shrieked, delighted that I’d finally gotten it.

Then there was a long pause, and then he said, with charm and warmth and hope even in the face of certain failure, “So are you gonna let me?!?”

He never gives up, that one. Him and Winston Churchill.

Presents from Boys

Paul took the boys on a mission this morning. Besides goggles for Elias – every time he gets in the pool he yells BURNING MY EYES ARE BURNING OWWWWWWWWWWW – they got Valentine’s Day presents.

Grandma got candy that possibly weighs more than she does.
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Also this very appropriate card.
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There were toe rings on the front. Oh my. (In case it’s not clear, Paul gives the boys a completely free hand with card choice.)

I’m happy with my flowers and cupcakes.

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The cupcakes in the background are for a party tonight. All of them have been turned upside down at least once. They’ll probably still taste good, though.

What a Weirdo

Here we are at the home of the World’s Best Strawberry Shortcake. (So they say. I have my own opinions. My Aunt Luella’s recipe is not to be trifled with.)

Levi refused any of the traditional treats they sell, including plain strawberries – which he usually eats by the truckload – and selected three Roma tomatoes. Here he is digging into the second.

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What a weirdo.

Cruisin’ …

Riding with the windows down and hit music blasting on the radio.
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Did I forget to mention that it’s the hit music from the 80s, and I’m cruising to a medical supply shop because I forgot the hose for my kid’s nebulizer? In a minivan?

I just ruined it for you. Sorry.

For the record, the music is the ONLY part of the 80s I enjoy revisiting.

Rules on Spiders

1. Killing a wolf spider gets you a lot of points. A LOT. Have you seen the size of those things?
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For the sake of discussion, let’s say …

Trapping and killing one wolf spider: +100 points.

2. Making fun of me for being afraid of the spider: – 50 points.

Seriously, when I saw it out of the corner of my eye I wasn’t sure if it was a spider or a mouse. Nas.Ty. (Note, however, that you are still ahead for the day. This will be important shortly.)

3. Pretending that the spider has a friend that is about to run up my leg: -100 points.

You are not nearly as funny as you think you are, and in fact people have told me they only laugh at your jokes to be nice. You have trashed all the goodwill banked from the spider execution and are now in the hole. You may recall from previous experience that this is a difficult position from which to recover. Hint: Stop digging.

There is a reason people liked John Wayne. He knew when to stop talking.