Sometimes the boys shower in the master bathroom. Leaving aside for the moment the amount of water that ends up on the bathroom floor, I don’t much like it when they do, because the shampoo disappears at an alarming rate.
It’s not like I’m buying expensive shampoo (Suave, I love you), but still. It’s not for pouring down the drain, or on your brother’s behind. They think I can’t hear what’s happening in there. They are wrong.
So I talked to them about it yesterday. We need to get clean, I said, and it’s true that you are sometimes very dirty, but you must stop wasting shampoo.
Elias isn’t wasting shampoo. He swears this is so. Levi either. For real, Mom. No? Who, then?
It must be Dad, Levi said, his face lighting up at the conjuring of this convenient scapegoat.
This is Dad’s current situation.
Well, Dad said, he has a point. If I use any, it’s a waste.