Behind the Times 

This has been my special friend for the past little while. For those of you lucky enough not to recognize it, it is a donut pillow, and it is for those who are having trouble sitting comfortably.

About three weeks ago, I slipped stepping out of the shower and went down hard. Right on my tailbone. It is possible that I did not accept this bump in the road with total equanimity and instead shrieked like a banshee. It hurt quite a lot.

It kept hurting, and sitting down was especially objectionable. My sister brought me a donut to sit on. I lost it somewhere (best guess: Millersburg) and immediately went to Rite Aid and got another one.

I finally saw a doctor last week – I don’t have anything against doctors except the copay we get charged – for a regular appointment and she confirmed my belief that she really couldn’t do anything about the, uh, problem area. She did, however, give me something that slowed down the spasms I was having and let me sleep at night. Things have improved enough that when I went to my brother’s house for Easter dinner tonight, I didn’t take my donut with me. (That was a touch optimistic.)

The boys have been intrigued by this injury, not least because it provides them opportunities to bring into conversation a part of the human anatomy that I generally encourage them not to discuss at length or in detail. In fact, last Monday, Levi’s Sunday School teacher (also my co-worker) informed me that I came up during prayer time. She swears he used polite words, but my problem was explained to his teachers and classmates at some length.

I experienced an initial flash of embarrassment – Does anyone other than a Kardashian really like having their hindparts discussed in public? – but recovered quickly. Because this is the best thing, seriously. It has been making me laugh all week long.

At one point, a week ago, there was a classroom full of second-graders praying for my behind. Bless their sweet hearts, and their delightful teachers. I guess when you ask second-graders what they need to pray for, you really, really never know what you’re going to get.

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