I realized this morning as I was stomping around the kitchen that I’m running a little late. I checked to be sure, and it’s true. It’s December 7, and I haven’t posted my annual I-hate-Christmas rant. In past years, these have appeared on either the first or third day of December. (In 2014, it wasn’t a dedicated post, so I logged the first mention of my rotten holiday attitude.)
I have been trying so hard this year, for real. It turns out – And why do I have to keep re-learning this? – that pretending something is not true does not make it easier to deal with. While there is a lot to be said for faking it till you’re making it as a path to a better attitude, pretending that I’m merry doesn’t magically disappear all the extra stuff that has to happen in December, and it doesn’t make me feel any more sane.
I was looking for a picture of the Grinch to use with this post, but I don’t think I am the Grinch. I don’t want to take Christmas away from other people. I want Cindy Lou Who to party down (as long as I don’t have to come because I am exhausted).
You know who I feel like? I feel like Horton. Christmas is the egg and I am doing my best to keep it warm. I look ridiculous and I’m as uncomfortable as an elephant up a tree, but I’m going to hatch this blasted egg if it kills me.
I will. I WILL HATCH CHRISTMAS.
I will not pretend that it’s my favorite thing. I am tired and I have a headache and I think I’ve had a cold since Halloween and apropos of nothing I really miss my mom. She didn’t like Christmas either, so maybe I just want someone to tell me I came by it honestly.
Oddly, I feel a lot better just saying this out loud. December is hard, but I can do hard things. It will be fine. All of the things will happen, or they won’t, and January will come and the kids will go back to school and life will settle back into whatever passes for normal around here.
And if I wish that we could just skip December altogether, well, that’s my problem.
Onward and upward!