CrossFit Mom: Soccer Practice WOD

Two rounds*; must be completed in five minutes or less.
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Warmup – Start yelling warnings that it’s almost time to leave. Repeat until children move (rare) or there is seriously no more time.

  • Pull long pants off child; work on mobility by avoiding kicks to the arms and face.
  • Give pants to child to put in hamper. Alternate: Just take them there yourself; it’s easier than picking them up off the floor later.
  • Deadlift child to table; remember to hinge at the hips and engage the glutes to avoid lower back injury.
  • Pull left shin guard on; improving dexterity will result in fewer complaints about scratchy velcro straps. Repeat for right side.
  • Pull on left soccer sock. Repeat for right side.
    Special Equipment: Specially formulated socks that seem simultaneously way too big and far too tight; designed to improve grip strength.
  • Shove left foot into cleats; you want motion that swings out and up to grip the heel. Repeat for right side.
    Challenge: Prepare cleats with double-knotted laces, preferably wet. Increases dexterity and tests stress response.
  • Lower child from table in goblet squat position.
  • Repeat “Do not bounce that ball in the house!!!” – continue to failure/fatigue.

Cooldown – Choose from:

  • Chase children to car and buckle in. Practice belly breathing on drive to soccer field to prepare to greet other parents with a smile.
  • Thank partner profusely for taking this one for the team. Shut door behind the mob and feel your shoulder muscles relax.
  • Run soccer bag to car for partner who forgot and had to turn around. Smile anyway because the house is still quiet.

 

*Increase as needed for appropriate number of children, but frankly if you have to get more than two ready for a practice at the same time, you should win the CrossFit Mom games. Or at least get a silver.

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